We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close
Aa Aa Aa
- A +

2018: The year in half-baked predictions

6 2 24
14.01.2018

Ever since I was a young lad, I've always known that I possessed a unique supernatural ability to predict the future.

"What rubbish!" I correctly predict you saying as you read this. (See?)

But it's true, I have long been blessed with the ability to foresee things before they actually happen. Why just last week, I told everyone who would listen not to buy tickets for the Toto $9.7 million draw because they were most definitely not going to win.

And then when the draw was made, in what was an exceptionally rare scenario, nobody won the first prize. I was thus proven 100 per cent correct.

In the name of transparency, the full prediction was people would not win as I had already bought the winning ticket. But that's just a minor detail. I argue the the gist of the prediction is still correct.

Anyway, the point is, I am an incredibly accurate fortune teller with a proven track record of accuracy. And I thought I would thus do everyone a favour and just share all my visions for the coming year.

2017 was kind of a miserable year full of miserable surprises, so I thought I would spare us all the shocks this year by just telling everyone what is going to happen.


ST ILLUSTRATION: CEL GULAPA

Here goes (Spoiler........

© The Straits Times