Hello and welcome to today's ESL Empowerment lesson. Our theme today is: "Stop hoping and start doing!" We will compare three similar words — hope, wish and want — that differ in meaning and can negatively affect one's mindset.
By the end of this lesson, you may be inspired to eliminate two of the words from your vocabulary.
First, hope. People hope for something that might happen or use the word when expressing passive thoughts about situations beyond their control. For example, saying, "I hope my uncle will buy me a fancy car," reflects a passive desire.
Do any students say, "I hope my homework gets done," hoping the homework god will do it for them? No. However, many people hope for unlikely things over which they have no control, such as "I hope Kim Jong-un will resign next month."
"Wish" is similar but even more passive than hope. Even as we say "wish," we know our desires are unlikely to come true and are out of our control. For example, "I wish Jeff Bezos would transfer $1 billion to my bank account tomorrow."
Unless you own something Bezos wants to buy, like several newspaper businesses, this is improbable and completely beyond your control. Wishes often leave us feeling powerless because they rely on external factors or fantasies.
Routinely using hope and wish can render us passive. Now, let's consider want, a word of empowerment. When you want something, it implies a desire you believe can be realized and that you will actively pursue. For instance, "I started working part-time so I can save money to buy a used car. I got tired of waiting for my uncle and Jeff Bezos." This demonstrates initiative and control, moving beyond passive hoping or wishing.
Oh, wait, some students in the back have something to say. Martin Luther King Jr.: "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." What? Who said that? "Hope is never lost?" Yes, there have been profound statements about hope. You can spend all day on the internet reading inspiring and thoughtful statements about hope.
Perhaps hope is never lost, but living in a world of hope and wish can cause people to lose something important: an active mindset.
Oh, some of you agree with that? Benjamin Franklin: "He that lives upon hope will die fasting." J.K. Rowling: "Hope is the most treacherous of human fancies."
Class, while I've highlighted some negatives about hope and wish, let's acknowledge that there are positives, even as I advocate eliminating them from your vocabulary. I can understand someone who has escaped from a dictatorship might cling to hope when nothing else seems to be available or someone expressing a wish as a kind statement, such as, "I wish you a Merry Christmas."
Even accepting that, my question is why should free people use passive language like "hope" or "wish"? Free people have the ability to act alone or cooperate with others, not just passively hope or wish for things beyond your control.
I will give an example of how language can change the way we act. About a decade ago, I made an effort to stop saying "I have to" after reading David Kelley's essay "I don't have to." Kelley, an objectivist philosopher, recommended asking, "Do I want to?" instead of thinking, "I have to." It changed the way I talk and act by taking responsibility for what I said. My expressions became workable.
"I want to," "I will," "I don't have to" and "I am going to" are reminders to myself to assert my individual autonomy and live life on my terms, being responsible for my choices. "I have to" suggests compulsion, that someone is pushing me in a direction I don't want to go. "I am going to" means I am headed in the direction I want. It is proactive. It means I can change directions when I choose to do so or walk away when necessary.
It made me a more active and energetic person. Not only did I stop saying, "I have to," but also I stopped engaging in activities I disliked. It also made it easier to say "No" to things I didn't want to do or would distract me. I don't have to eat everything the world puts on my plate.
Okay, class, let's wrap up by reviewing today's main points: Hope and wish are words that can lead to a passive mindset. When you speak about what you want or will do, your words become actionable as you strive to fulfill your desires.
Your homework assignment is to spend a week avoiding words and phrases like "I hope," "I wish" and "I have to." And don't tell me, "I hope this assignment will get done." Make sure it does get done.
Casey Lartigue Jr., (CJL@alumni.harvard.edu) is co-founder of Freedom Speakers International with Lee Eun-koo and co-author with North Korean refugee Songmi Han of her memoir “Greenlight to Freedom.” He blogs at “Workable Words” for the Korea Times and on Patreon.
Lose hope, please
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13.05.2024
Hello and welcome to today's ESL Empowerment lesson. Our theme today is: "Stop hoping and start doing!" We will compare three similar words — hope, wish and want — that differ in meaning and can negatively affect one's mindset.
By the end of this lesson, you may be inspired to eliminate two of the words from your vocabulary.
First, hope. People hope for something that might happen or use the word when expressing passive thoughts about situations beyond their control. For example, saying, "I hope my uncle will buy me a fancy car," reflects a passive desire.
Do any students say, "I hope my homework gets done," hoping the homework god will do it for them? No. However, many people hope for unlikely things over which they have no control, such as "I hope Kim Jong-un will resign next month."
"Wish" is similar but even more passive than hope. Even as we say "wish," we know our desires are unlikely to come true and are out of our control. For example, "I wish Jeff Bezos would transfer $1 billion to my bank account tomorrow."
Unless you own something Bezos wants to buy, like several newspaper businesses, this is improbable and completely beyond your control. Wishes often........
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