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Melania isn't laughing now

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OPINION: Melania Trump spent Wednesday as any woman would in her place, surely; in her bedroom, door locked from the inside, curtains drawn, a hole kicked in the TV screen, shredding wet handkerchiefs with her teeth and begging god to let the Democrats win everything. Please!

The result's worrying for the world, but it's her I feel most sorry for, condemned to home detention yet again. What's in it for her? Only media criticism of her frocks, and listening to Trump's endless bragging with a vacant smile. If she'd known it would end like this she'd have married a proper billionaire and taken up gardening.

Trump seems to need Melania chained to him on demand, a robot ventriloquist voice saying, "I adore my husband", and "he listens to me" on endless repeat at the touch of a button.

He grips her hand in public in times of tension, much as he once gripped the hand of his mother who, being a McLeod, would have been a........

© Stuff