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I hope 2019 is really dull

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12.01.2019

Buh-bye, 2018!

We're two weeks into our relationship with 2019 – a year fresh out of its cellophane wrapping, and crisp with underuse – so you, harbinger of mostly bad news, can jog along, honey. We are never, ever getting back together.

What was last year even good for, really?

It was a dud root, as Kath and Kim might say. Right-wing populists surged in power and influence, even in countries we'd usually associate with buttocks, the coconut bra and bum feathers (take a bow, Brazil). Russia made further incursions into Ukraine, and migrant children died in US detention centres. Boy, did Pinterest get it wrong when it said 2018 would be The Year of Matcha Tea.

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Still, there were bright spots in the gloom, which is why we couldn't bring ourselves to break up with last year until the very last minute. The royal wedding, for one thing.

I was paid to snark about it on the Stuff live blog, but I would've........

© Stuff