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The pain of my miscarriage

11 1 4

OPINION: My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for two months when I first peed on the stick that came back with those distinct double lines.

My mind was blown. It was actually happening.

I felt life change irreversibly. I was thrilled and terrified. I took a photo of the stick and texted it to two friends. Then I realised I better send it to my husband. Then I texted a third friend.

I called my parents and then my brother and then I messaged my sister-in-law even though my brother was sure to tell her. I emailed some very fond work acquaintances. I WhatsApped five other friends.

* Miscarriage grief often hidden because of poor support - counsellor
* I'm happy for my pregnant friends, but inside my heart is breaking
* Seven miscarriages, and no idea why

During the next six weeks I told everyone I ran into, all my relatives, friends from high school, my yoga and Pilates teachers, our building manager, the postman and many more.

I knew many people believed that you're meant to wait until 12 weeks.

But I have never been able to keep a secret about myself and it seemed awkward to me to start lying about why I wasn't drinking alcohol or eating soft cheeses.

And I was so tired from the hormones, I needed to be able to tell friends I was pregnant so that they wouldn't be hurt when I went home early from their parties.

It surprised me that the first........

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