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Cavemen with keyboards

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Last updated 05:00, January 14 2018

Why enjoy the sunshine when you can rage on social media?

OPINION: It's been one of the best summers I can ever remember and yet some of my fellow New Zealanders seem to have come back from holidays quite out of sorts.

Onto their Facebook pages they head, and bash-bash-bash they go on their keyboard. So much apoplexy. So much dyspepsia. So much cold fury about so many things.

You're no longer allowed to fondle a woman if she's passing by without a top on, and they think that's dopey because what did she expect, she took her top off. I can't explain why they stop short of asserting their right to club her and drag her back to their cave, having already asserted their right to decide who gets to touch her, and on what terms.

Sticks and stones ... now we have social media.

But maybe that's what happens to a caveman when you give him car keys. He bashes at the keyboard like one of Stanley Kubrick's man-monkeys biffing sticks at the monolith that's inexplicably appeared outside his cave, but even as he bashes and throws sticks, he has a glimmer of a sense that the world........

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