“I see other people trying new things and having cool experiences, and I wish I could be like them. I feel like it’s too late for me to change things in my life. It feels too risky.”
My clients often describe themselves as “risk-averse” people. They like the idea of taking more risks, but in practice, it feels a lot harder. They feel like something is holding them back from stepping forward.
That “something” is often the fear of making mistakes and the fear of uncertainty.
Maybe you want to try new things. Maybe you’re seeking a career change, a new relationship, or finally getting started on a hobby. But how do you overcome these fears?
Compared to risk-averse people, risk-takers tend to be more open, possess a greater tolerance for uncertainty, and are more adaptable to change. Fortunately, you can learn these skills and put them into action—it is not too late!
I’m going to talk about how to re-think the fear of making mistakes and uncertainty. I will provide some practical ways to prevent these fears from stopping you from making those changes and new beginnings a reality.
Perfectionism gets in the way of people taking risks and trying new things. Perfectionists aim to get things right the first time and feel discouraged when things don’t turn out this way. One of the ways to prevent themselves from unpleasant feelings of disappointment is to avoid starting altogether. Imperfection and mistakes can be dirty words to perfectionists but I’m here to offer an alternative perspective.
Try applying a “growth mindset” as a helpful alternative to a perfectionistic “fixed” mindset (Dweck, 2007). A fixed mindset assumes that situations are stable—something that cannot be changed. A growth mindset assumes the opposite. A growth mindset allows room for mistakes and lets our abilities and skills become areas of constant development and change.
Now, when you apply this growth mindset to imperfections and mistakes, you can start to see them as a normal and necessary part of an ongoing process of learning. Practice is what helps you get things closer to what you want them to be. Learning how to accept this is, in itself, a practice! You can learn to accept that it’s normal not to get things right the first time around.
Rather than thinking about the negative aspects of mistakes, think about how other people have used mistakes and imperfect results to build something better. It takes time to try things out and see if they work. Once you expand your view of what outcomes are allowed, it makes risky things feel a little less scary and less like something you have to avoid at all costs.
The next time you come up against your fear of making a mistake (such as not being “perfect”), ask yourself:
The next time you make a mistake, ask yourself:
Write reminders to yourself about why it is OK and normal to make mistakes. Remember that taking imperfect action is far more valuable towards making progress in your life than waiting until you’re ready to take “perfect” action.
Being unsure about how something will turn out is often an uncomfortable mental state we want to avoid. Most of us like to know as much as we can about a given situation so we can feel more prepared. While some people enjoy surprises and unexpected twists and turns, I know from my personal and professional experiences that most people prefer to know what to expect and to feel in control.
However, the fact is we can’t be 100 percent certain about everything all of the time. While you can aim to get as much information about a situation as you can, a certain percentage of uncertainty and randomness will remain. A degree of remaining uncertainty is not a failure on your part or a sign that your life isn’t right. Instead, it’s an accurate reflection of how life is meant to be. Things can and will happen randomly and unexpectedly.
Psychological flexibility is a term used in psychology to describe the ability to think more adaptably about life situations and circumstances (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010). This dynamic approach to life helps people live with less fear and anxiety and to act according to their desires and values.
You can reclaim the mental space previously taken up by the fear of uncertainty by shifting to a place of acceptance of the unknown. After you’ve prepared yourself for new situations to the best of your ability, focus on skillfully adapting to changes when they arise.
The next time you’re struggling to tolerate the discomfort that comes with change, try these strategies:
It’s not too late to get started on something new. Using these strategies over time will help you become more comfortable and confident in your ability to handle situations that previously felt too risky. You can build up a tolerance for the uncomfortable feelings that arise when you make mistakes or come up against unknown circumstances and changes.
Acceptance helps with the process of transforming these fears into normal parts of life that you can handle. Start small with less risky decisions and build up to bigger things when you become more comfortable with the process. Before you know it, you’ll be moving past the mental and emotional barriers that were holding you back from taking action, and you, too, can be one of those people who tries new things, takes risks, and makes change.
References
Dweck, C.S. (2007). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York, NY. Random House Publishing.
Kashdan TB, Rottenberg J. Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review. 2010 Nov;30(7):865-78. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001.
How to Get More Comfortable Taking Risks
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17.04.2024
“I see other people trying new things and having cool experiences, and I wish I could be like them. I feel like it’s too late for me to change things in my life. It feels too risky.”
My clients often describe themselves as “risk-averse” people. They like the idea of taking more risks, but in practice, it feels a lot harder. They feel like something is holding them back from stepping forward.
That “something” is often the fear of making mistakes and the fear of uncertainty.
Maybe you want to try new things. Maybe you’re seeking a career change, a new relationship, or finally getting started on a hobby. But how do you overcome these fears?
Compared to risk-averse people, risk-takers tend to be more open, possess a greater tolerance for uncertainty, and are more adaptable to change. Fortunately, you can learn these skills and put them into action—it is not too late!
I’m going to talk about how to re-think the fear of making mistakes and uncertainty. I will provide some practical ways to prevent these fears from stopping you from making those changes and new beginnings a reality.
Perfectionism gets in the way of people taking risks and trying new things. Perfectionists aim to get things right the first time and feel discouraged when things don’t turn out this way. One of the ways to prevent themselves from unpleasant feelings of disappointment is to........
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