There is a growing rejection of grind culture, and 59 percent of American workers experience at least moderate levels of burnout that decrease their quality of life.1 Research has long shown that high stress is related to poorer health outcomes, the mind-body connection is well accepted, and key determinants of happiness include mental/emotional/physical well-being, purposeful holistic work-life balance, nurturing social relationships, and caring for self and others.2

Emerging research shows a connection between autoimmune diseases and lack of empowerment when women prioritize others over their own needs. Autoimmunity and the "Good Girls" found that 87 percent of women with autoimmune diseases reported putting themselves last regularly without even knowing it, and 73 percent endorsed wanting (but not knowing how) to change patterns of deprioritizing themselves over others.3 It's no wonder that the self-care industry is booming.

I am a clinical psychologist, college professor, consultant, burnout coach, and single mother to three young children. All of these roles involve encouraging people to practice self-care, and when I don’t follow common self-care guidelines myself, I feel like a hypocrite steeped in guilt, shame, resentment, and exhaustion.

Various definitions of self-care typically include aspects of physical, mental, and social well-being. But common guidelines neglect important aspects of a fulfilling life. When you hear “practice self-care," it probably conjures........

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