When we start dating a new person, we take our time feeling them out—ideally. What are their interests? What’s their personality like? Are they trustworthy? Do we find them attractive? How do they get along with our friends and family? How do we get along with theirs? One consideration many new daters face is determining whether a new prospect is emotionally available to them. This means: not encumbered by past (or current) crushes, liaisons, or deep attachments to someone they’re not yet over that isn’t us. Sure, there’s the obvious intertwining that lingers after your new mate’s last breakup—think shared pets, assets, children, perhaps. You’ll need to decide which of these you’re comfortable tolerating, and many partners are able to work out ways not to feel so threatened by such unavoidable realities. But it’s often the unspoken orientation of a new prospect’s heart that proves trickier to discern—and more determinative of how being in a relationship with them will go for us (at least at the outset).

To save yourself the heartache of thinking someone’s ready for a new relationship when they may not be, here are seven signs your new date isn’t quite over their ex just yet:

If you’re dating someone who is displaying some or all of these signs, it’s important to manage your expectations so you don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Healing from a breakup takes time, and some people do so effectively by resuming dating and beginning new relationships. But if someone is clinging to objects or images associated with or representing their ex, continually rehashing negative or positive memories about them, or becoming very emotional when the topic of their ex arises, it may be wise not to get your hopes up that they’re emotionally available to you. If you do note these signs, it’s worth an honest chat with the person you’re seeing about how each of you should proceed—and an honest look at what it is you want and whether you're seeking it from the proper source.