I was in an awkward yoga pose the other day. One leg here. The other there. Twisted and contorted at the waist, it seemed as though I was sipping each breath through a straw. I wanted to collapse––to curl up in the fetal position. I wanted to give up.

My inner voice whispered, “Not today.”

So I gracefully unbound myself and bowed down, my forehead to the mat, my body purposefully rounded into child’s pose.

I surrendered.

I surrendered to the moment, to the truth that my body, in that space, on that day, was not going to achieve what I’d hoped. And that was okay. I’d shown up with love and given it my all.

My physical surrender and mental pivot made me think about the times I face situations that are out of my control. No matter what I do—my actions or words aren’t going to fix it, heal it, reach it, or end it.

And, if I let it, the situation can make me feel scared, alone, anxious, frustrated, angry, helpless, and completely out of control.

But what if I looked at it differently?

What if I realized that I actually can control something—I can control how I feel in the situation.

I can choose to feel unhappy or happy, positive or negative. I can choose to not let this thing control me.

Easier said than done, I know.

When facing a bad situation out of my control, I control how I feel about it by doing these two things.

First, I surrender.

Then, I pivot.

Surrendering, done correctly, is graceful and powerful and it is by no means giving up. I show up to the situation and give it the best I have. I offer my intelligence, grace, and honor. I do what I can to remedy the situation. When I’ve given everything I possibly can, I let go and trust that it will work out as it needs to in due time.

Next, I pivot. I don’t lie around, moaning and groaning about all the bad stuff that happens. Instead, I do things that feel purposeful and bring meaning and love to our day.

We can go for a walk. Meditate. Play with the dog. Call a friend. Bake a cake for the neighbor. Plant some flowers. Text a compliment to someone who needs a pick-me-up.

These acts of love and goodness are how we pivot not only our physical energy but our mental and emotional energy as well.

What is the thing we have control over in life? Whether we will be controlled by our emotions and how we feel. The next time something feels completely outside our control, we can decide exactly how we want to feel about it.

And while we’re waiting for the situation to resolve, doing yoga is a great way to pivot emotionally and happily pass the time.

QOSHE - We Have Control Over How We React Emotionally - Karena Kilcoyne J.d
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We Have Control Over How We React Emotionally

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01.05.2024

I was in an awkward yoga pose the other day. One leg here. The other there. Twisted and contorted at the waist, it seemed as though I was sipping each breath through a straw. I wanted to collapse––to curl up in the fetal position. I wanted to give up.

My inner voice whispered, “Not today.”

So I gracefully unbound myself and bowed down, my forehead to the mat, my body purposefully rounded into child’s pose.

I surrendered.

I surrendered to the moment, to the truth that my body, in that space, on that day, was not going to achieve what I’d hoped. And that was okay. I’d shown up with love and given it my all.

My........

© Psychology Today


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