During trying times, you may feel that your positive energies are dwindling—sometimes your cup may seem more empty than full. When your cup feels diminished, how do you refill it?
This article offers two strategies: (1) hope—a pitcher you can pour from to help refill your cup, and (2) reclaiming time and space in your life to renew and reinvigorate yourself.
According to psychologists, hope is one of the 24 character strengths common to humankind, offering meaning and helping us connect to the world around us (Niemiec, 2014).
Hope is composed of strategies—tools you can learn about and use in your day-to-day life. During difficult, uncertain, or overwhelming times, hope strategies can help you notice that behind the shadows, there is light. Recently, I wanted to adjust a cabinet in the kitchen of my home. I searched for the flat-head screwdriver and thought my husband may have misplaced it. Then I spotted a corner of the elusive screwdriver’s black and yellow handle, hanging where it always is, but it was obscured by his baseball hat. I searched more carefully and saw the screwdriver was actually there the whole time, but I hadn’t noticed it. Looking more carefully at our lives, we can discover greater hope.
Ultimately, experiencing our cup as half full or half empty involves tactics we can choose. It is within our power to rally hope and call it forth—even during trying times. In The Book of Hope (2021), anthropologist Jane Goodall, Ph.D., writes: “When we face adversity, it is hope that gives us the confidence to rally our indomitable spirit to overcome it.”
Put another way, when we can envision in the light of our mind or heart, a pathway to a future that is better than the present, this is hope. During difficult times, hope may invite seeking a middle ground, where both the current truths and our desire for a better future can co-exist (Groopman, 2005).
Empirical evidence consistently shows that hope and optimism can benefit our emotional and physical well-being, positive relationships, and effectiveness in athletics and academics (Rand & Cheavens, 2009; Snyder, 2002; Schiavon et al., 2017). Aiming for hope is a choice we can make and actions we can take, even during trying times.
Hope theory posits that we can generate the capacities, pathways, and resolve to reach toward our goals (Snyder, Rand, & Sigmond, 2002; Snyder, 2000). These behavior choices can shift hope from wishful thinking to tangible action with intentional goal-oriented motivation and steps (Feldman & Dreher, 2012). Here are the three components: (1) having a goal; (2) agency, the motivation and determination that your goal can be achieved; and (3) pathways, a plan and actions for reaching your goal.
If one of your goals is to take some time for yourself, how can you carve out some minutes each day that are just for you?
What can you say no to, so you can say yes to you?
For the purposes of this discussion, let’s say that saying yes to ourselves is simply good self-care. To reclaim time and space for yourself, you might experiment with carving out precious moments that help you create space once or twice a day to reset and restore.
Here are some examples that can offer restorative moments:
Is your cup half full or half empty? How will you refill your cup when you want or need to?
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.
© 2024 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved
References
Feldman, D.B. & Dreher, D. (2012). Can hope be changed in 90 minutes? Testing the efficacy of a single-session goal-pursuit intervention for college students. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13, 45–59.
Goodall, J., & Abrams, D. (2021). The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times. New York, NY: Celadon Books.
Groopman, J. (2005). The Anatomy of Hope: How People Prevail in the Face of Illness. New York, NY: Random House Trade Paperbacks.
Niemiec, R.M. (2014). Mindfulness & Character Strengths: A Practical Guide to Flourishing. Boston, MA: Hogrefe.
Rand, K.L. & J.S. Cheavens. (2009). Hope theory. In S.J. Lopez & C.R. Snyder (Eds.) The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology, 2, (323–333). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Schiavon, C. C., Marchetti, E., Gurgel, L. G., Busnello, F. M., & Reppold, C. T. (2017). Optimism and hope in chronic disease: a systematic review. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 2022.
Snyder, C. R. (2002). Hope theory: Rainbows in the mind. Psychological Inquiry, 13, 249–275.
Snyder, C.R., Rand, K.L. & Sigmon, D.R. (2002). Hope theory: A member of the positive psychology family. In C.R. Snyder & S. Lopez (Eds.), Handbook of Positive Psychology (257-275). New York, NY: Oxford Press.
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