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Who's going to explain the H&M hoodie furore to this little boy?

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AS a wean, my daughter was a law unto herself. She put the fear in feral; she was a stranger to sense, a rejecter of reason. This wild child, with her haphazard hair and intense, bold brown eyes, had something of the simian about her. She would pick food up with her feet, swing from table to chair and sofa. I would refer to her as the missing link between humans and chimpanzees. She was the cheekiest of monkeys. So I called her monkey.

The thought never crossed my mind that anyone would think it inappropriate for a father to call his daughter a monkey. My parents called us monkeys. It’s a term of endearment. Except when you are H&M.

On Monday the high street clothing behemoth launched a new children’s range. The most engaging image is that of an unbelievably cute five-year-old. In his well-fitting bottle-green hoodie, he strikes a pose. He has a disarming confidence, a serene stillness that belies his youth as he stares at the camera. His hoodie carries a message: coolest monkey in the jungle. So far, so good. Until I tell you that........

© Herald Scotland