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Now I’ve gained fascinating insight into how my body works, I’ve decided that everyone else needs to know, too

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14.01.2018

FOR Christmas this year I decided to treat myself to a nagging, judgemental, strict, relentless new piece of technology, as a treat.

Instead of a nice new pair of cosy winter pyjamas and one of those mega-size Christmas chocolate bar tower things that are taller than most people, I decided to get a Fitbit.

It’s not a toyboy, as some speculated on social media (yes, I’m talking to you pal), it’s a small watch that thinks it’s a hybrid of your parents and your old PE teacher.

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It’s one of a range of gadgets that monitor how many steps you take in a day, your heart rate, your sleeping patterns, your food intake and more. It’s the kind of thing that you dread anyone you know getting. I know what I’m about to become but I’ve made my peace with it, and my social media followers will need to be prepared.

Now that I’ve gained this fascinating insight into how my body works, in real time, I’ve decided that everyone else needs to know, too. Welcome to my new social media feed. From now on,........

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