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This is a note of thanks to ASIO boss Mike Burgess.
It wasn't his intent but Burgess's annual threat assessment dusted comedy gold over an otherwise drab week.
Using the example of an unnamed former politician, who several years ago had "sold out" his country, party and colleagues to advance the interests of a foreign power, to explain how foreign interference works, Burgess might as well have thrown a fox into the chook house that is Australian politics.
Up first, Smoky Joe Hockey. Indignant thunder from the cigar-chomping bloke who in 2014 said, when defending an an increase to the fuel levy, "The poorest people either don't have cars or actually don't drive very far in many cases."
Name the "traitor" (his word, not Burgess's), Smoky Joe demanded, otherwise every former politician is smeared with the same brush. Seems to me, Smoky did a pretty decent job smearing himself while in government. Cigars with Mathias Cormann after finalising 2014's horror budget. Telling first home buyers to get good jobs that pay well. And: "If housing were unaffordable in Sydney, no one would be buying it."
Smoky Joe's clumsy insertion of himself into the conversation was a reminder of how cack-handed he was as a politician. After his appearance, hours were lost trawling over the gaffes and missteps that ultimately ended his career. Oh, the hilarity.
Burgess gave sound reasoning for not naming the person. They were no longer a threat to national security, he said. ASIO didn't want to reveal how it uncovered the operation. The politician in question did not break any laws at the time and the laws enacted after the "sell-out" were not retrospective.
And, most importantly, "We're a rule-of-law country and if they're not doing it now they're not breaking the law."
After Smoky, came Pontiac Pete, prepared to put money on the former politician being a Labor MP from NSW.
The insight. The acute deductive power of the man. Once a copper, always a copper.
Never mind that anyone with access to Google would have leapt to the same conclusion. But they would have been foolish to broadcast it if not protected by parliamentary privilege.
In the Senate, poor old Malcolm Roberts - always hunting relevance and a few seconds on the telly - was fretting "the traitor" might be in the building right now and no one would know.
At least shadow home affairs hawk James Paterson dropped some commonsense into the chook house. "The conduct occurred before the passage of the espionage and foreign interference legislation in 2018, which means they couldn't be charged for offences because it was not retrospective," he said. "Given that, I think it would be unfair to name someone publicly and you would obviously be running a very serious defamation risk if you do so."
Burgess's threat assessments have become compulsory viewing. It's chilling stuff.
Last year, he dropped "hive of spies" into the national conversation, saying a network of foreign spooks intent on stealing our secrets had been removed from the country. And he revealed a foreign power had tried to lure a critic overseas where he could be disposed of.
But that's not the only drawcard. Burgess himself is a consummate performer, delivering his bombshells with cold, hard candour - conveniently in the run-up to budget time.
This year's headline might have been the former politician from several years ago who'd become an agent of influence. But the far more concerning revelation lost in all the chook house noise about "the traitor" was that thousands of public servants had been posting their security clearances online.
And the fact Mike from ASIO bears an uncanny resemblance to Mike from Breaking Bad guarantees I'll be back for more this time next year.
So, thank you, Mike. You enlivened an otherwise dull week.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Should the former politician ASIO says advanced the interests of a foreign power be named, even if it wasn't an offence at the time? What do you think is the biggest threat to national security in 2024? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Facebook's parent company, Meta, will no longer pay for news content across a number of jurisdictions, in a major funding blow to Australian news providers. From early April, Meta will shut down Facebook news in Australia, the company wrote in an online post, following a similar decision in Germany, France and the UK last year.
- The Toyota Corolla is the top vehicle in roadside assistance call outs nationally according to new data from Bupa Car Insurance. The Holden Captiva and Toyota Camry also ranked in the top three, followed by the Mazda 3 and Nissan X-Trail.
- Up to $85 billion in extra taxpayer funds will needed by the end of the century to support those without enough super after millions of Australians tapped into their accounts early during the pandemic. Analysis from the Super Members Council, which mainly represents industry super funds, found the early release scheme could cost taxpayers between $75 billion and $85 billion by 2085.
THEY SAID IT: "If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking ... is freedom." - Dwight D. Eisenhower
YOU SAID IT: Garry questioned the wisdom of subsidising a drug like Ozempic when used for weight loss.
Deb writes: " Some of the blame for the obesity epidemic must surely be attributed to the over-consumption of milky coffee. Before the days of takeaway coffee, people had to go to a cafe and sit down and drink their coffee. Now, many people have a takeaway coffee cup permanently stuck to their hand wherever they are."
"Hold off on the 'plus size models'," writes Sue. "The fashion industry refuses to accept that women naturally and healthily come in sizes above 10-14, without being overweight. Margaret Whitlam was not obese or even slightly fat. In France any junk food ads on TV have a super telling you in no uncertain terms how bad they are for you."
Kate writes: "Often people who are ill put on weight. Once on, it is difficult to remove. It is a myth that exercise will remove weight, it only tones those muscles that are needed for the body to work well. So how about a positive article about how difficult it is to lose weight, how people in their 70s and 80s need a bit of weight to be able to survive old age?"
"Portion sizes matter as do the ingredients and having basic kitchen skills," writes Erika. "Exercise helps. But the equation doesn't end there. Hormone-disrupting chemicals abound everywhere. Side-effects from meds (birth control and anti-depressants are both notorious for weight gain). Stress. Add the illnesses and diseases which can also screw over energy levels, appetites and metabolisms. Environments which discourage activity (not enough shade, footpaths, casual seating along the way, most if not all facilities further than walking distance). Jobs where work/life balance is given lip service but work always comes first."
Cathie writes: "You (and most media stories about weight management) do not address the possibility of food addiction - in particular ultra processed food addiction. There is good evidence about this subject and programs that address it that don't require drugs or surgery. The work by Dr Susan Pearce Thompson and Chris van Tulleken is a starting point to get more understanding of this area. My vote is for taxpayer money to be directed to help people access programs that support them to become free of the UPF addiction and maintain a healthy lifestyle."
"I take Ozempic for type 2 diabetes when I can get it," writes Wayne. "It makes me feel nauseous. These overweight people are making themselves sick to lose weight because they are too lazy to do the good eating and exercise thing."
Sally writes: "It definitely is all about what you put in your mouth and lack of exercise. Once when buying clothes the sizing was S, M, L and now it has crept up to XXXL, that is scary, and you are right when these days it seems to be accepted that those rolls of fat aren't even attempted to be hidden."
Four decades in the media, working in print and television. Formerly editor of the South Coast Register and Milton Ulladulla Times. Based on the South Coast of NSW.
Four decades in the media, working in print and television. Formerly editor of the South Coast Register and Milton Ulladulla Times. Based on the South Coast of NSW.
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