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The Trump card

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09.01.2017

WASHINGTON — As a public service, I am going to start the new year by making peace with a Donald Trump presidency, and by offering my fellow —liberals an aggressive, three-pronged plan for how to do the same in the interests of national unity.

PRONG ONE

Step back. Accept the inevitable with grace. And most important, stop whining, particularly about the fact that Trump did not win the popular vote.

Several presidents were elected without winning the popular vote. Yes, it is true that they are mostly a parade of nitwits and weirdos, such as Benjamin Harrison, who presided over the installation of electricity in the White House but then never flipped a switch because he was morbidly afraid of being electrocuted. (He ordered his staff to do it.)

Also, there was Rutherford B. Hayes, widely known as “His Fraudulency” because the election was stolen from Sam Tilden. Hayes was America’s first ayatollah: he banned drinking, smoking, dancing and card —playing from the White House.

Another president who didn’t win the popular vote was George W. Bush, but in the interests of national reconciliation — and also because he is looking much better right now — I will not savage him here. (But I must note that he left office with the lowest-ever final approval rating of any president, and that even includes Richard Nixon, who actually needed a pardon to avoid going to jail.)

I digress. My point is, we need to accept the results as legitimate. Think of the election as a game of Scrabble. You played your brains out, using sophisticated words like “syllogism,” but you lost by a point to a near illiterate who had memorised a list of all the stupid two-letter words........

© Buenos Aires Herald